 |
| source: verywellmind |
If you’d asked me a few years ago who influences a child’s development the most, I probably would’ve said “moms, obviously.” Between pregnancy, breastfeeding, and that whole emotional glue thing, it just seemed like common sense. But after digging into a recent study (and falling down a rabbit hole of research), I realized we might be seriously underestimating the impact of dads, particularly when it comes to mental health.
And here’s the kicker: A father’s mental state, especially in the early parenting years, can actually influence how their child grows, emotionally, socially, even physically.
Let’s talk about why that matters, and what we can actually do about it.
A New Look at Fatherhood and Mental Health
A massive global review published in JAMA Pediatrics recently caught my attention. Researchers analyzed data from 84 studies across the world, covering thousands of father-child pairs. The main finding? When dads experience mental distress, depression, anxiety, chronic stress, it can ripple into their child’s development.
We’re talking about a wide range of areas:
Emotional regulation
Language development
Cognitive skills
Even physical growth and sleep quality
These effects were especially noticeable from conception up to the toddler years, a time when kids are at their most sensitive to their environment and the emotions of their caregivers, not just mom, but dad too.
How Poor Mental Health Affects Dads (and Their Kids)
According to the study, up to:
8% of fathers experience clinical depression during the perinatal period
11% deal with clinical anxiety
And 6–9% report elevated stress
And the consequences don’t stop with dad. Children of fathers who struggle mentally early on are more likely to:
Struggle with emotional expression
Have delayed language or cognitive skills
Develop poor attachment and relational habits
Experience sleep problems or digestive issues
What’s wild is that post-birth distress seems to have a bigger impact than stress during conception, possibly because this is when dads are actively interacting with their children, forming bonds, establishing routines, or (in some cases) emotionally withdrawing.
What This Looks Like in Real Life
Let’s get real. I’ve watched friends and clients (I’m in the health content world) become new dads, and many are blindsided by how mentally tough that transition is. Society expects them to be the rock, the calm, steady supporter, while also adjusting to less sleep, more responsibility, and maybe even financial pressure.
One dad I spoke to said, “I felt like I was drowning, but I didn’t want to complain, my wife just had a baby.” That mindset is so common. And it’s dangerous.
When dads feel like they have to “man up” instead of speak up, they often retreat. That emotional distance doesn’t just hurt them, it creates gaps in the connection with their child, who’s busy wiring their brain based on the emotional signals they receive.
But… Is It Really the Dad’s Fault?
Let me be super clear: This isn’t about blaming dads.
The researchers behind the study, like Dr. Delyse Hutchinson of Deakin University, also pointed out that mental distress often comes from larger issues: job instability, lack of social support, health disparities, even systemic factors like racism or economic insecurity.
Dr. Arwa Nasir, a pediatric professor, put it beautifully: “We can’t just isolate dads’ mental health from the world they live in.” In other words, the goal isn’t to point fingers. It’s to understand that supporting fathers supports the whole family, and ultimately, the next generation.
So What Can We Do?
I’m not a parent yet, but if I were, here’s what I’d want every new dad to know:
1. It’s Normal to Struggle
Becoming a parent is a HUGE transition. Feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or even down doesn’t make you broken, it makes you human.
2. Ask the Right Questions
Routine postpartum care often focuses only on moms. But more pediatricians and therapists are starting to include mental health screenings for dads, too. Take advantage of that.
3. Find a Therapist or Group
Talking to someone, a professional, a group of dads, even a trusted friend, is a game-changer. There are even mental health apps now designed for new parents (like Headspace or MindDad).
4. Check In With Yourself Regularly
Sleep, diet, connection, and movement, the basics still apply. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s an investment in your child’s emotional foundation.
5. Let Go of the Tough-Guy Script
Vulnerability isn’t weakness. In fact, when your kids see you name and navigate your emotions, they learn how to do it too.
Final Thoughts
This study just confirms what many of us instinctively know but often push aside: Mental health doesn’t live in a vacuum. It’s generational. It’s relational. And when we give fathers the same emotional care and attention we offer mothers, everyone wins.
So if you’re a dad reading this, or know one, maybe this is the reminder that mental health check-ins aren’t optional. They’re part of the job. And they might just be one of the most powerful things you can do for your child.
Want to support a new dad in your life? Sometimes it starts with one question:
“How are YOU doing, really?”
Let’s normalize that.